I don’t really believe in writer’s block.
To me, writer’s block is a name given to the situation in which I’m stumped because I haven’t done enough research. I usually find that if I just sit down for a while and think hard about my story, the pieces fall into place and I can get cracking again.
I don’t have writer’s block.
I have writer’s anxiety.
I know what I want to write, I just can’t get myself to sit down and make those words happen. Oh, I have a weekly writing date with myself and in that hour I spend at the coffee shop I’m quite prolific. And I’m also psyched during and afterwards – writing makes my heart soar.
But I just can’t seem to make myself write any other time. I had ample opportunity for writing this weekend. The little one was out with his grandmother for most of Saturday and took ‘n 4-hour nap on Sunday. Plenty of time to write.
And yet, I didn’t. In fact, the mere thought of sitting down to write gave me anxiety attacks – you know: elevated heart rate, cold sweats, spinning room, nausea, immediate headache.
I asked for advice from my writer’s group and the responses were extremely helpful for someone suffering from writer’s block:
- Break down the tasks into smaller, more doable, pieces
- Write every day to take the pressure off the one writing session
- Incentivise and give yourself rewards for achieving small results
- Withhold a particular treat until the writing is done
- Make yourself accountable by sharing your targets with friends or on social media
- Consider the time spent thinking about your story also as writing time well spent
- Think about the places where you get stuck until you have answers to unstuck yourself
- Sit your bum in the chair and coax a sentence or two out until the flow comes
All very good and valid advice if you’re stuck in a writing slump.
But that’s not quite my problem. My problem stems from something very specific. And that something is the first draft of the third installment of my urban fantasy series.
I had trouble writing the second installment too, and I think the problem I have now builds from that. Part 2 was well-received, some readers claiming it was even better than Part 1, which is great, but it means I am now under an enormous amount of pressure for Part 3. It has to improve, yet again, upon its predecessor. This, I think, is what’s causing my anxiety.
What if I don’t succeed? What if this story is boring as hell? What if my characters are paper-thin clichés with no agency? What if I let my readers down?
I’m told this is normal, part of the up-and-down cycle of a creative’s life.
I’ll get through it, I’m sure, but right now it sucks big time.
I have only a few days left before my self-imposed deadline for finishing this first draft is due (we won’t discuss the previous two deadlines that whistled past like high-speed trains at a non-stop station). Will I make? Should I even try to, given that it’s causing me such severe anxiety?
I don’t know, but I do know that I’ll push on regardless. This story wants out and one way or another, it will get written. It may just take a little longer than expected.
What I do know, however, is that I’ll think twice before attempting another series again…
Do you get writer’s anxiety? How do you deal with it?