Two weeks ago I wrote about writer’s anxiety and how it was keeping me from sitting down and getting the words on paper. I realised that it was fear that was preventing me from doing that which I love most – telling a story – and I knew that the only way of overcoming this fear was to face it and give it the finger.
I haven’t done that yet. Oh, I’ve made some progress, but by and large, I’m still losing the battle.
I won’t lose the war.
Over the years, various friends and creatives whose blogs I follow have mentioned a book that has spurred them on and given them the courage to pursue their dreams. For whatever reason, I’ve resisted reading that book. Until now.
Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art is a quick read (it took me two hours) with a high price tag (for an e-book), but it was just the thing I needed to read right now.
He talks about Resistance, a force driven by the Ego that prevents the Self from reaching its true potential. It’s something experienced by anyone who’s trying to reach a higher plane of existence or understanding, someone who feels the need to be creative or to do something that will better humanity. It’s what forces us to procrastinate and ultimately leads to all the vices that keep us from being happy, including addictions as innocuous as a couple of hours of playing Sudoku while the little one binge watches Paw Patrol or The Lion Guard.
Many creatives struggle with anxiety and/or depression, myself included. A recent discussion in my writer’s group confirmed that we’re all fighting our own internal battles every day. Sometimes we lose, and sometimes we win. I know for a fact that a day on which I’ve written, even if only as little as 300 words, is a good day. It’s a day on which my soul soars. A day on which I have done the thing I was meant to do.
So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to write.
I might not write on my PC every day (because honestly, the computer room is cold and dark and a huge deterrent 90% of the time) and I may not write the story I’m supposed to write, and I may not write more than 100 words in total… but I’m going to write.
It makes me happy.
What makes your soul soar? What prevents you from doing the thing that makes you happy? What are you going to do about it?